StarView Diner

Located on the White Horse Pike in Somerdale, their dominating sign caught my eye one morning while I was heading out to Blackwood for a summer class. The big, bubbly, WordArt-esque lettering took me back to days of handing in middle school lab reports that had to have a cover sheet. The pink/fuchsia and turquoise lettering made it stand out more than any other sign on the short stretch of road. My first thought was that the establishment was wonderfully tacky. I was hoping it was more wonderful than tacky, and since the parking lot was usually filled every time I took that route at 9:30 on a weekend morning I figured they must be doing something right behind their doors. We arrived at the StarView a little after 7:00 on a humid evening and greeted by smiles of the hosts and waitresses. We were promptly seated at the first booth in the diner and given menus. As soon as we were seated we noticed how the place seemed to be filled with regulars. Everyone was on a first name basis with everyone else, and everyone was in high spirits.

After my Monte Cristo during my last diner escapade I needed to go back to my standard: two eggs over medium, sausage, home-fries well done, wheat toast, and coffee, black. Let's face it, it doesn't get much better than that. I'm going to take you through this review as if you were in my seat. Let's start with the home-fries. They listened to my request of having them come out "a little extra crispy" and they gave me a healthy amount, too. But then, I slid three of my sausages away from the potatoes and noticed there was a gaping hole on the back left corner. A cover-up had taken place right under my taste buds! It's OK though, I got over it quickly once I salted them up and dug in. They were nice and well done on one side which made up for what seemed to be slightly under-cooked potato throughout. On to the sausage. Let me just say that they weren't the all stars of this meal. They didn't possess any unique quality that would make them stand out from sausage links bought at your local grocery store. Maybe I'll go for bacon next time. Now it's time for the eggs, which from the outside looked like they were cooked perfectly. Unfortunately, appearances aren't everything since they were cooked more on the over easy side. I always hope that an egg cooked incorrectly at a diner is a fluke, but once it happens, it makes me weary to try their food a second time. On a positive note, the extra egg on my plate was great to soak up with my toast. Mmm. Their coffee was, in a word, bland, even though our waitress was quick with a refill.  For me, the service outshone the food, which after some terrible service at other places, was a nice breath of fresh air. I still want to try their bacon.

This, vs.

...This

Reflecting back, I thought this place was pretty weird. I too was intrigued by its 1980's, pastel, and generally gaudy sign that made me think, "Wow! If I was a character in Jem, I would be eating here!"

But then were seated and after a few minutes of looking around and admiring upholstery, the bakery, and the general air of friendliness, I realized that yeah, I would go here, if I was a character in Jem and a possible cultist. Above the booths line these pieces of ceiling art were stars...everywhere. But, not just normal stars as you can see below. All of a sudden the decor made no sense to me, and I wonder if I was the only person who upon first visit had questioned this choice of theme. It actually is quite arresting as you can see the picture below as once we saw these pentagrams, there was no unseeing them. FYI: Also, upon further research I've been informed that one can also call these pentacles. I kept wondering, "What do these mean"? But ultimately I was too chicken to find out, but I definitely will ask next time. But, really, maybe this just matters to me- since nobody on Yelp seems to mind the decor.

Scary

Readers of earlier posts will know that I, through this adventure thus far, have started to have realizations about how I like my breakfast (specifically my eggs) done. My most significant realization so far has been that I like my omelettes well done- I believe I called it a 'step before chewy'-and that fluffy, soft omelettes are unappetizing to me. I've started to realize that I'm also developing a preference for how the items IN my omelette are prepared, specifically how large they are in relation to the actual omelette. Picky, yes. However, I never considered it as an actual issue, until I had to eat through my very well-cooked broccoli omelette, only to realize that I never really was able to bite into a piece of broccoli. The vegetable was so well broken down into little florets (where were the stems?!) and folded into the egg that ultimately I felt that I was eating a broccoli-flavored plain omelette. If it doesn't sound like a big deal, I can say that it wasn't...until I got about half-way and started to lose the complexities in flavor. Note: For the polar opposite of this phenomenon, see the Maritsa's review that will be up next week!

Have you ever just eaten something and then after a while have it lose its taste? You can tell what temperature it is, or how salty or sweet it is, but you lose the ability to actually taste the ingredients that went into it? I ended up not finishing it. However, my home-fries were bountiful (unlike Chris's) and delicious. 

Ultimately, it's not a place I would go back to, but I did enjoy our waitress who was fast and courteous and seemed to be super friendly to everyone in the house. It was a multicultural-friendly diner and even though I know that I live in a world where racism is relatively subtle and de facto at worst, it's still nice to see black and white seniors smiling and shaking hands like old friends. I like to imagine that they come the same time, every week and have made this diner a part of the rest of their lives.


Additional info:
Our meals came with free juice; usually this juice is a "small" but should really be called a mini. When Chi declined hers, I was upgraded to a medium, which once again speaks of their stellar service. This diner, being our first on the White Horse Pike has opened up the door for exploring this stretch of road, potential reviews from the Jersey Shore could be soon to come.

Used to be 24 hours, now has standard early morning and late night hours. Moderately cheap; pay at the front.

Christopher

Authors' note: This entry marks our first in our 'Silver Spoon' entries- the restaurants we visit and review that are notably higher scale than our usual diner go-tos. Who says that NJ doesn't have fine dining? Who says Philadelphia is a terrible food city? 

Located in a quiet strip mall on Kressen Road in Chris's hometown of Cherry Hill, is the appropriately named Christopher restaurant. With the spotlight on their famous crab cakes, the restaurant focuses on three areas- seafood, steak (angus, certified) and pasta. The menu is no frou-frou with those as the only options. The decor, at least on the side where Chris and I were seated was also succinct as we pull up and see (or not see) that all of the curtains were let down and we could not even hope to glimpse inside. Intimidated, we walk in and are eventually greeted by a nice man who would end up being our host, our waiter, and then the floor busser.

I ordered their 'famous' crab cakes. All I can say is that I'm not sure why they're famous, because they weren't delicious and after two weeks I can barely remember any good quality about them. The crab pieces themselves were not large, and there wasn't a good crisp on the crusts. It was very soft, and eventually mushy and boring. My potato on the side frankly was more exciting- but then again what's not to love about twice-baked potato? It's difficult for me to find a vegetarian version of anything multiply-baked and I enjoyed the option. The portion was small, but not unexpectedly so.

Our busy waiter rushed over to our table after giving us a few minutes to look over the menu and we ordered our starter: fried calamari (this seems to be our bread and butter for appetizers, besides the complementary bread and butter). I need to begin with a compliment for our starter. It might have been the best cooked calamari I've been served. The outside of the rings were feather light, not very greasy, and even the rings on the bottom were crispy all the way around. The inside was, figuratively, like butter, and almost as rich. The one problem with the dish, however, was the seasoning. It was predominately salt. Actually, salt was the only thing I really tasted. Then again, that's the only downside the dish had. The marinara sauce that it came with was fresh and cut the saltiness back. When thinking about the plate as a whole instead of nit-picking, it was delightful.

For my main dish I had the "Filet Mignon With Fresh Grilled Shrimp" for $28.95. I need to lay down that the best steak that I get on a semi-regular basis is the beef from a restaurant called Famer Brown's in Waterloo, NE. I judge most of my steak off of beef from Nebraska, simply because that's what I grew up with and I honestly believe it's the best. That being said, the steak at Christopher was good. It was tender all the way through, lightly seasoned, and the chef did a knockout job of letting the quality and natural flavor of the steak speak for itself. It was a refreshing piece of meat that was well rested and retained its juices nicely. I asked for it to be cooked medium-rare and it came out more on the medium side, but I'll count that as a minor oversight since I really don't think it affected the overall tenderness of the filet. Now, the real star of the show was the shrimp. These three little guys were...perfect. If nothing else, they were the best cooked and juiciest shrimp I have ever had. They made the super market shrimp cocktail rings taste like pink rubber bands. I'm looking forward to getting more shrimp the next time I visit. The meal also came with a double baked potato. This potato had a shadow cast over it in comparison with the rest of my entreé. The only thing I really liked about it was the sour cream note really came through and added some needed zest to the rest of the plate. God, that was some good shrimp.

Riding the high of Chris's meal, we decided to order dessert. I decided that we shouldn't penalize the whole experience just because I didn't particularly enjoy my crab cakes. To be fair, I consider myself a relatively picky eater when it comes to crab just because I've been blessed to live (and eat) in the Chesapeake area of Maryland and then the Jersey Shore where blue crabs abound. Anyways, our waiter brought us out our dessert options via representations-on-a-tray instead of a menu, which I've seen at some upscale restaurants. However, instead of the deserts being perfect plastic versions of themselves or freshly cut slices, these pieces had seemed to be sitting there all day. The fluffiness of the cakes were gone; their icing starting to lose their brightness and melting off the edges. However, the power of our waiters descriptive words broke through the somewhat unapetizing desert mirage and we decided to order the red-velvet cake - an all-time favorite of mine. Like the rest of meal, there were distinct ups and downs.

The frosting? Delicious. Truly a thoughtful blend of a tangy cheese and sugary goodness. There wasn't too much that overtook the cake, and it left me wishing I could run back to the kitchen and lick some off the KitchenAid mixer. As far as the cake, I feel as if Christopher was trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I have a pretty firm understanding about how a red velvet is constructed traditionally, and the chemical reactions involved with cocoa ultimately give the desert its deep rich red color. This cake was a bright pink at most, and tasted like a pound (albeit moist) cake that had food coloring.

Overall, what a strange place with many ups and downs. Having read many mixed reviews on it, I wished we were able to, in the end, make up our minds about it. It's not as bad as some haters make it out to be - no, we didn't see any rats, and the service was good- but nothing about it changed my life. Except for that shrimp. Since Christopher, no shrimp has compared. 

Ponzio's- Diner, Bakery, Bar

A late dinner out was in order after Chris's first (full) softball game in several years with his company and after a particularly hard couple of days at work for me. Chris has raved about taking me to Ponzios for years and I've always wanted to go as it just looks so well-established and trendy with an always packed parking lot. This is why it was so disconcerning when on the way there Wednesday night at a red light he says, "I feel...like you're going to be disappointed in this place."

What?

First of all- what a huge place! We ended up being seated in what I believe was called "The Garden Room" after passing several distinct sections of the restaurant, including the big bakery. I was able to peer into the 'bar'- not very impressive and inhabited by about 4-5 individuals in their 50s and 60s just watching television and not talking to each other.

We decided to order calamari (kind of sketchy to order at a diner) and then I ordered the veggie Alpine Swiss- a garden burger with Swiss, grilled mushrooms and fried and supposedly crispy onions on a thick sweet Brioche bun. Tasty, but not as much as it should have been. It didn't fulfill its potential as it came to be just a notch above room temperature and cooler than the fries I got on the side. I figured it was an issue of timing since Chris's crazy sandwich came out with the cheese melting off of the bun and syrup nice and hot. My cheese as a point of reference was already congealed and my onions, while delicious, were on the road to soggy. Comes with the usual pickle and slaw, however, I will say that mine was not over-drenched in dressing, which made it easier to eat. One day, I'll learn to like coleslaw. Maybe.

I must say Ponzio's is the closest diner to where I live, and my family has frequented it countless times making it rather difficult for me to be impartial. The family usually eats there on lazy Sundays for brunch and I usually get an omelet or fried eggs, the usual. So, in an attempt to be different, I went with something different. The sandwich is called a Monte Cristo, and it is put together with egg dipped sour dough, ham, turkey, swiss cheese, pineapple, and honey-mustard sauce. The honey-mustard sauce sold me. What I didn't expect was that egg dipped meant the sour dough slices were essential French Toast, and it was never explained to me that it would be served with a mini pitcher of hot breakfast syrup. The details were nice. The sandwich itself was a miniature adventure and it had no clear beginning, middle, or end. Cheese was everywhere, confectionery sugar was dusted on one side, and the choose your own adventure with the syrup made every bite different. However, in the midst of the hysteria, the flavors came together. I would reserve this sandwich only for nights when I need a designated driver to get to Ponzio's. And if you happen to take a girl on a date to this particular diner, I warn you, there is no romantic or flattering way to eat the Monte Cristo.

Some argue that the portion of a review that covers the appetizer should be placed before the reviews of the entrees, and I argue that the literal appetizer should be delivered to the table before the literal entrees. Well, we both lose in this case. In the waitress' defense she was extremely apologetic about forgetting to put in our calamari order, and after she rushed back to the kitchen the amount of time it took to come back with a platter of freshly, fried squid, was quick and full of more apologies. On to the actual quality of food; the calamari was only rings (no little full squids), it was crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, paired with a nice, light marinara sauce, but the amount of lemon juice they squirted over these crunchy cephalopods was enough to make both Chi and I pucker up as we munched away. Maybe, I'll try the mozzarella sticks next time.