White Horse Diner

The White Horse Diner is literally a stones throw from the Berlin Diner. It is located on the White Horse Pike making it an easy stop for Chi and I on our way out to the Jersey Shore. The place looked a little run down with a shabby exterior and dark windows. For a moment we thought it might have gone out of business. With one or two cars in the parking lot we decided to pull to see if they were open. We were excited to see they were open since we were both pretty hungry. The interior was a bit drab with fading greens, the backs of the booths were coming loose.

dark and drab

I've held off as long as I can, but I have to say it; this was the worst diner I have ever been to. I wanted to try something new, so I ordered a Reuben Burger. This is a simple enough item to prepare, the menu made it sound pretty simple. The burger consisted of the meat patty, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese and a bun. A Reuben Sandwich should be a diner classic with nice, tangy sauerkraut and rich cheese making for a flavor filled meal. The trouble for me started when I was asked four times if I was ready to order while I was clearly still looking the menu over. There are a total of seven other customers in the diner, therefore, there was no need to rush us. While that was plenty annoying, I almost couldn't believe what happened when my food came out. I was served a plate of fries with two hamburger buns both topped with sauerkraut and Swiss cheese. I was incredulous. They forgot the patty? Do I not know what a Reuben Burger is? Shouldn't the burger be part of the burger? The waitress came back about a minute later after I sat there dumbfounded digging through a pile of sauerkraut and cheese looking for the the rest of the meal. I said I think something is missing and she looked at my plate and quickly took it back to the kitchen. She brought me back the same meal about thirty seconds later with a dried hamburger sitting on one of the buns.

burger fail

There are three fundamental things that went horribly wrong at the White Horse Diner. Firstly, the cook did not realize that he had forgotten to put the hamburger on my hamburger. This means that he also saw the meal go out of his kitchen and did not realize the hamburger was still on his grill. The second incredible thing was that the waitress realized something was wrong when she picked up the plate, or didn't realize there was something wrong, and then served me an incomplete plate. I was angry and embarrassed for them. The third problem was that the food didn't taste good. The burger was over cooked, there was double the amount of sauerkraut and Swiss cheese than was necessary, and the french fries weren't hot. I feel like the slough they brought out to me was just sitting around all afternoon. The White Horse Diner has made my very short list of places I never want to visit ever again.

The menu was a decent size but had nothing for vegetarians so I decided to have breakfast for lunch. I ordered the chocolate chip pancakes because I was feeling nostalgic and had a bit of a sweet tooth. I ordered them with homefries (because as you know, I'm obsessed with potato-based foods). My pancakes were slightly warm with nothing special about them. The pancake itself was tough and chewy, only accented by the awful silverware that couldn't cut through butter. The chocolate chips were charred and bitter. My butter was average- not especially creamy or salty, or any of the superlative ways you could describe butter.

In fact, there is nothing superlative about anything that this diner produces. When my homefries didn't come out, I had to struggle to find the waitress to ask her for them. She apologized and said she'd get them. She then returned to say "Sorry, it'll be a while. We have to make fresh ones. I didn't want you to get the ones that had been sitting around all day getting gross." And then she smiled as if anything she had just said was okay to say to a someone who was patronizing your restaurant. What could she have possibly meant? Did she not understand that the overarching context of what she was saying was "We don't make our food fresh here"? Any decent diner can whip up an order of home fries in two minutes- why would you ever not make them to order?

Regardless, since I was hungry from not eating the rest of my pancakes, I said "fine". She comes back later to say, "So...do you want them or no? Do you want me to take it off the ticket?". No, I do not want you to take if off the ticket. If I ordered them (twice!), then of course I still want them. When they finally came out Chris and I picked at them both agreeing that after all we had been through, at least there was some decent home fries to help ease our anger. But a swallow does not a summer make.